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My Thoughts Of You

Title: My Thoughts Of You
Author: stripesco04_nur
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Teenagers Ryan/Brendon
Summary: If I told you that I thought you were perfect would you believe me?
    I... I love you Ryan... There... I said it... Please don't laugh...
Beta: i_am_tre
Disclaimer: I don't own any P!ATD boys, and this is so not true.
Author's Notes: This is a new chapter fic from me, and the letter part of this story was not written by me. It was written by one of my friends - Heather, who kindly let me use it in this story. It has been edit, slightly, by me. So, please leave any comments!


Brendon leans against the school wall, just watching from a distance as Ryan Ross laughs and grabs his bag from his locker, joining up with his pals, Spencer and William.
They walk pass the unnoticed boy, and Brendon feels a little upset, until a sharp voice cuts through his thoughts, "Hey, you're Brendon aren't you?" Brendon's head whips up and he sees Ryan talking to him. Him, of all people!
"Um, yeah, I'm Brendon," Lame. That's all you can say? His mind mocks him and Ryan smiles at him.
"Well, maybe you can hang out with me and my friends, sometime."
"Hey! Come on Ryan. We're dying of waiting up here, so stop trying to hit on every cute little Junior you see!" William suddenly yells, making the young boy's cheeks flame up. Ryan, however, merely glances around and sees William pouting and Spencer shifting from one foot to the other.
"See you around, then Brendon?" He says, extending his hand out and shaking the young boy's hand firmly.

Ryan gives another smile before walking away; laughing with William and Spencer. Brendon stays stock-still; not moving, only looking at his hand. He shook my hand! He actually touched it! His mind races as his heart beats faster than ever.
After looking at his hand, like he had just got the bubonic plague, Brendon was scared out of his "trance" as a janitor thumps him on the back.
"Ain't it late, to still be in school? What are you, in detention or something?" The janitor's Irish accent flowed out and Brendon only shook his head and collected his backpack and left the building.

~~~~~~~~

Brendon hangs his head over the notebook he has sprawled over his crossed legs. The pen he is using is gripped tightly in his hand...
He starts writing a couple of sentences, but keeps stopping. He cringes as he rereads what he just wrote down, and tears that page out, crumpling it up and tossing it into a pile that's fill with other pages he's ripped out.
He groans as he shifts his position on his bed, and leans back against the mattress. He stares up at his ceiling, but he can't get Ryan out of his head. His eyes drop close and the memories return:  First day of school. Last block; History. Brendon felt a little jittery. He was the only Junior to be in a class, only filled with Seniors. He walked in and grabbed a desk, not paying attention to the gossip of the Seniors; how they made fun of the Freshmen, that "tried too hard", and talked about how rude and stuck-up the Sophomores are being this year. Brendon pretends to be reading the new book he was assigned in English, when he walks in.
Ryan.
Who was followed closely behind by Spencer. Brendon had never been in love. Hell he hadn't even ever been on a real date in his life! But, there was something about Ryan that made Brendon want to be closer to him. A feeling that washed over him, screaming, "He's the one!", but Brendon stayed quiet and in the front of the class, and was later dubbed, "The Junior Nerd". It wasn't his fault that he knew more about The American Revolution than the Seniors did...

Brendon gasped a little as he woke up from his nap and memory; his mind presenting a mental picture of Ryan, without his shirt on.
"Stop, just stop for tonight," Brendon pleads with his mind and suddenly the picture is gone, but an idea is formed in his mind. "That's it!" He shouts, grabbing for his notebook and pen that was tossed carelessly when he feel asleep. He writes hurriedly and when he is finished another blush is crossing his face.

~~~~~~~~

The next afternoon, Saturday, Brendon is standing behind a parked car, glancing nervously at Ryan's house. When he found out about his attraction to Ryan, of course he would go to the trouble of actually "stalking" him, who wouldn't? And, of course, Brendon found out where Ryan lived.
Making sure the coast was clear he skipped across the road and stood in front of the Ross's mailbox. Just as he was about to open it and slid his envelope in a voice scared him.
"What are you doing in our mailbox?"
Brendon froze and quickly glanced up, seeing Ryan glaring down at him.
"Um... W-well... I-I was just g-g-going to... See this came out of your..." Brendon's mind blanked on him and he started stuttering stupid excuses as to why he was standing in front of the Ross's mailbox.
Angry at how he couldn't explain the real reason he was there, Brendon threw the envelope at Ryan and ran off, leaving the Senior in a complete daze.

Ryan stood in complete shock as the envelope had bounced off his nose and rested in front of him. He peered down at it, and scooped it up.
He stared at the loopy handwriting ~ Ryan Ross. Ryan quickly tore the envelope open and read the letter that was inside.

Dear Ryan,
    I would tell you that I'm writing this childish note out of pure boredom, but that would be a lie. Thoughts of you keep me up at night and I spend hours trying to come up with words that might describe how I feel. However, every time I have made an attempt, it is obvious to the both of us, that I fail miserably.
    Please forgive my poor efforts... I love you... Is there a better way to say it? I'm going crazy over you... I remember seeing you for the first time in our History class. You came strolling in, talking casually with you best friend Spencer, and was it me or did the whole world around us freeze? All I saw was you. I wanted so badly to talk to you. I wanted to be with you. Just being around you in that class and in the hallways, gives me butterflies. I can't stay still.
    I hate when the bell rings and class is over. I feel like chasing after you. I want to hold your hand as we will could be strolling down the hallways like other couples at our school. But it doesn't happen... And the sound of my heart grows dim until I see you again... It's funny how the hallways, full of people, can be so lonely...
    I can't tell you how many times I would pretend to not get the question Mr. Blake would ask, just so I would be able to hear your voice... if he called on you. Sometimes when we're working on packets and Mr. Blake says we can work with partners, I want to, also, pretend that I didn't understand, so that maybe you would come over and help me. That's when we would probably talk, smile, crack jokes while we work together.
    I don't know how to explain what it is that sets you apart from others. Your charm? Your kindness? Your talent? If I told you that I thought you were perfect would you believe me?
    I... I love you Ryan... There... I said it... Please don't laugh...
Sincerely, Brendon Urie

Ryan stares incredulous at the love letter in his hand. He loves me? He thinks, wondering what to do now. Find him. Comfort him. You know, he's probably in a state of reject right now. And besides, how many times how you looked at him and thought, "Hmm. He would be cute to go out with if he was gay". Well now's your chance. He just openly told you, through this letter, that he loves you. Show the same! Ryan's mind worked faster than he gave it credit and the older boy was off to search for the distraught youth. While his mind said softly, You love him, Ryan. You, Ryan Ross, have feelings for Brendon Urie!